before you judge: I had no choice. divorce isn’t an option for me, my country doesn’t allow women to divorce men. i he divorce me I would still be scared to do anything because of him and his family and mine too being divorced is the worst thing here. men look at you different like a cheap woman and women look at you like incompetent or less than a person because your man left you so you must be terrible at everything. Divorce is a shame which is why many woman stay in bad marriages because divorce is worst than that. This person I was married to when I was 15, my family forced me because of older ties between our family and their family and they are powerful so it was a “good deal”. He abused me for the past 24 years, beat me, rapped me, and prevented me from ever being a mother, he hit me with a knife when I was pregnant and i can never be a mother and now is too late for doctors. telling police on your husband is also shame, telling his family is shame and they tell you you are bad to make him angry, telling your family is the same they tell you smile and dress up and make him delicious food to make him happy. this spell was my only way out. a woman here can’t travel or have passport without her husband approval, cant drive a car, cant do anything on your own so just leaving is not an option. i was lucky he allowed me to study because my dad insisted on it and it was early in our marriage so he said yes. if he said no i wouldn't even be writing this as i wouldn’t know english at all.